Wow…my last post was Sunday night, the evening before a new Bible study. I now see that God brought me to the exact place I needed to be to enter into this new study. To quote a few of my “pit”iful statements: “I have developed a resentment toward the world…I’ve become cynical and lost my naïve joie de vive….so disconnected from the world…everything is meaningless…Is this what they call the dark night of the soul? Is that You forming this darkness?.” I ended with, “I could use some fresh insight here.” Lo and behold the Lord is definitely giving me fresh insight. The study is Beth Moore’s “Stepping Up, a journey through the Psalms of Ascent”. I never heard of that before? The 15 Psalms of Ascent are #120-134. They correspond with the 15 steps at the Nicanor Gate of the Temple. They represent a journey…an upward journey. They also are thought to be songs of the journey from Babylon back to Jerusalem (just as the Jews were exiles in Babylon…I’m an exile…a captivity of my own right now). If God is inviting me to “GO UP” then He must have allowed me to go way down first. So I am so energized and passionate about beginning a journey with God as He draws me up the steps closer to Him and His plans and purposes. This is a new pilgrimage! God has given me the impression that He is more excited than I am…He can’t wait to show me whatever is at the end of this journey. Beth encouraged us to get down on our faces every day before God and humble ourselves. I’m heading down to the lowest place in my house, the basement, for a little self-abasement every day. I’d like to journal about this pilgrimage.
Day1 self-abasement. God said, “There are things you need to let go of before you ascend-what do you need to surrender? What’s too heavy to bring on the journey? Let go of expectations and disappointments of the world (including the church) and see through fresh eyes.” I do have baggage of self-pity and woe is meisms. OK…let go! I followed with the Bible study and read through the first Psalm of Ascent 120. “In my distress, I called to the Lord….woe to me”. That describes my current experiene to a tee!!! Another confirmation that I’m exactly where I need to be! The study also reminded me to praise God throughout this journey. Praise for His work in the past, His work and presence today and the glorious hope for the future. The study also reminded me that God redeems along the way…expect redemption, change, pain and growth.
Day2 self-abasement. I saw a vision before me of God’s feet and He said, “Put your hands on my feet. People want My hand of power but your solid foundation is here at my feet.” God wants me to hold fast to Him…each day of self-abasement I will grab hold of Him. The study reviewed Psalm 121…”where does my help come from, my help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth….the Lord protects you (x4). What do we need most on a pilgrimage but protection. In the psalm He says “I will not allow your foot to slip.” That’s such a glorious parallel to being told by God to grab His feet. We won’t slip when we’re grasping hold of our Lord! I will hold on, trust You and praise You on this journey.
Day3 self-abasement. I saw a vision of a young girl on her hands and knees planting a seed in very fertile soil. God said, “Watch it grow.” The Lord is providing the fertile soil for my growth along this journey…seeds will be planted and growth is the outcome. I didn’t provide the soil, I’m not providing the seeds but this is all God’s work within me. Praise Him!
I’m sure there’s so much more to come!
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